Why it happened
by Fallenangelqueen
Summary: One night leads to a tradegy. Just read. Or don't. Up to you.


**A/N**

**okay, hey guys...i have NO CLUE why i decided to write this, I think i was stuck in the dark recesses of my mind when this popped in. Thanks for reading anyway, and I hope you enjoy it...If that's possible.**

**Thanks.**

Parties, they weren't something for Logan.

Logan had been courted off to one of Guitar Dude's famous parties by James and Carlos, who was now dancing on the floor with his shirt unbuttoned all the way down and sweat dripping off his body. He was obviously wasted, but didn't care as girls whistled and grinded with him on the floor.

Logan rolled his eyes and looked at his watch, wondering why he didn't stay home and study like he needed. He sighed and sat down on the couch waiting for either the latino, who was currently making out bottles of vodka by the wall, or James to pass out. He sighed again and wished kendall had cocme with him, he could at least be keeping him company.

Oh, Kendall. He wished for him to be here.

The idea of a suddenly drunk, sweaty Kendall was driving Logan crazy. He could _just_ feel Kendall's hands on him, running up and down his thighs, squeezing his hips as Logan rode his-

"Like what you see?"

Logan blinked, just realizing he had been staring into space. He looked up, coming face to face with a platinum blonde that was wearing a outfit that looked like sparkly duct tape and strings, but was obviously a rip-off deisgner dress, that just barely held up her double-D's. Logan had figured out a while back that girls had not interested him at all, especially after Camille. All he could see was Kendall.

But the hard-on from his sex fanasties obviously made her think something different.

"Uh, uh, no thanks!" Logan felt the heat gathering in his cheeks as the girl leaned closer, her hands traveling down to rub his thighs. He blushed darker and tried pressing himself deeper into the couch.

"N-no, I-I'm fine, believe me!" His eyes darted around and he tried to find a way out of this situation. This girl wasn't Kendall, his Kendall. He squirmed when her hands got closer and he tried jumping away, but he was stuck.

_WUMP!_

They both stopped and looked up to see James passed out on the floor, twitching a little. Girl laughed and Logan spotted a few guys lick their lips and give a few wary looks at James.

Logan pushed the girl away and raced over to James, leaning down and scooping hm up. James leaned on his shoulder, making Logan strain a little as he tried to lead them both back to 2J. He grabbed Carlos, who groaned and mumbled angrily in spanish as they all were led back to the apartment. Logan was glad Mama Knight wasn't home for a change, because Logan didn't have to worry about waking her up. He pushed Carlos into bed, making the latino grumble in spanish again before rolling over.

Now was James's turn. Logan pushed James into bed, groaning when he realized he was now stuck under James's arm. James pressed himself into him and began gently thrusting against Logan.

"Oh, god, James!" He groaned. James thursted harder, pressing his drunk self to Logan.

"Mmmm,Carlos." James hissed. Logan grumbled to himself and pressed his hands to James's chest, attempting to push him off.

"God, you and Carlos need to get together." logan groaned as James rolled over, obviously completely unconscious now. Logan stood up, pissed that he was now tired, strained, and smelled like James's sweat and Cuda-man spray. And a little bit of Vodka had spilt on his favorite shirt.

"Damn. God, I'll kill those two one day." Logan hissed as he yanked off his jacket. He tossed it in the bathroom hamper as he continued to the kitchen for an asprin.

"Logie.' Logan jumped and turned to see kendall sitting on the couch, in the dark, phone in his hand.

"Kendall! You scared me!" logan laughed nervously, not sure of the strange, dark look in Kendall's eyes.

"You didn't answer your phone." He shook the phone in his hand. Logan frowned and checked his phone to discover several missed texts and calls from Kendall.

"Oh, sorry. I-"

"Where were you, Logie?" Kendall stood.

Logan suddenly felt disturbed.

"What were you doing?" He screamed. Logan shook visibly and stepped back.

"I went to the party! You knew that!" Logan cried. Kendall stepped closer and Logan stepped back.

"Were you with James?" Kendall sneered. Logan shook again.

"Of course. I was there with Carlos and James!"

"No, not like that! You know what I mean!' He grabbed Logan and shook him.

"God, I see the way you two are. It's not fair, it's just not fair at all!"

Logan shook and looked longly into those beautiful green eyes he loved.

"K-Kendall?" But Kendall lifted him up and slammed him into the wall. Logan gasped in pain as his head collided with the wall.

"Kendall! Wait, please I don't understand!" Logan sobbed gently.

"I see the way you two look at each other! The way you two act around each other, I know whats going on! God damn, you even smell like him! It's not fair!" He threw logan down and Logan stared up at Kendall with big eyes.

"You're mine, Logan! You're mine!" Kendall grabs Logan once more and throws him against the couch. Logan cries and falls onto it. He tries to scramble away but Kendall grabs him and flips him over. He holds Logan down and stared horribly down at him. Logan shakes and sobs gently.

"But, Kendall-"

"no, I've tried for so long to make you see _me_, but all you see is_ him_! I love you, logan! I tried to tell myself that it wasn't right, that I belonged with girls instead, but no. I couldn't. I loved you to much! We belong together!" Logan shook his head. This wasn't how he imagined it, not how Kendall and him found out their feelings for one another. It wasn't right. Kendall growled and grabbed Logan's shirt, ripping it down the middle. Logan cried out and gasped as Kendall flipped him again, grabbing his hands roughly and tying them together with the shirt.

"I'm sick and tired of waiting. I'm going to show you who you belong, too." Logan cried when he felt Kendall's hands on him, running up and down his legs.

"_You wouldn't believe how many times i've dreamt this._" Logan sobbed as he felt Kendall yank his pants off. He was now naked, in nothing but his boxers. He felt Kendall as he leaned over him, pressed into his body. He sobbed when he felt Kendall rub his backside.

"GOD YOU EVEN SMELL LIKE HIM!" Kendall screeched.

"No! Please! We never did anything! It wasn' like thattt..." Logan's voice fades out and he sobs harder. He's flipped over again and shrieks when he sees kendall is also naked. Kendall rips the boxers down Logan's legs and logans writhes as Kendall presses his fingers insinde of Logan.

Logan gasps and cries harder as the unreal feeling of Kendall's fingers inside of him thrust in and out.

"NO! NO! KENDALL, PLEASE I'M NOT-I'M- JAMES- WE NEVER-NO PLEASE!" I shriek as I feel Kendall push himself inside. The thrusting starts, the pounding in my head is killing me. Kendall goes harder, gripping my hips, sliding in harder. The physical pain was horrible, he felt like dying inside. But the emotional pain was the worst. The boy he loved, was hovering over him, and Logan had realized from looking into those eyes that Kendall was obviously drunk. his eyes were out of focus, his breath was raw.

It hurt, badly. He sobbed harder than anything when Kendall tried a different angle and pleasure sparked underneath the pain. He screamed and writhed, he could feel heat, the blood as it slid out of him. He sobbed, wishing that he had never hesistated, that he just told him.

But,now he couldnt go back.

*********BTR*********

Logan's eyes fluttered dangerously as Kendall released, again. Kendall hadn't stopped since he started, and now all Logan could have done was stare at the clock on the wall as Kendall continued. It was nearly four am now, and Logan wasn't sure exactly how long they had done this, but as Kendall slid out, he realized he might be done. His thighs and insides were sore, sticky, and he knew that since he hadn't been prepared, that there was blood all over the couch. It was soaked, and crusty, he could feel it under his thighs.

_I feel...so...cold..._Logan thought.

Kendall sat down beside Logan and breathed heavily, before turning back to Logan. He leaned close and kissed his cold cheek, running his fingers over his face. Logan just laid there as Kendall ravished his body, kissing, scarring him as he shook. He trembled and watched Kendall lean over to extract a bottle of some sort of alcohol from behind the leg of the coffee table. He tipped his head back as he drank it and then turned to Logan when he finished, tossing the bottle off to the side.

"You know," He whispered as he trailed his fingers down Logan's face," I-I never...never wanted to h-hurt you."

"Kendall-"

"No, shhhh," Kendall whispered, pressing a finger to Logan's lips as he swayed a little," Let me. Let me...let me finish. I never...wanted to hurt you. I just wanted you to love me." Kendall starts crying.

Logan feels absoultley sick to his stomach. And dizzy. He's SO dizzy. He wishes Kendall would also give him his pants, he really cold. He looks up at Kendall with hazy eyes, Kendall is swaying around in his vision.

"I wanted you to love me, Logie! Why couldn't you love me! I-I thought we could have that-that nice white house with the...the pick...puck...pickett fence!" Kendall cries harder and then flops down beside Logan, pressing them both into the couch.

"But...But, all you saw was 'Mr. Perfect hair!" Kendall cries harder and pulls Logan into his chest. He feels like vomitting as he's moved. Kendall strokes his hair and kisses his forehead.

"But, don't worry, Logie. I take care of you." Kendall sways and then falls face first into the couch. he hiccups and holds Logan close.

"I love you. I...But james was-"

"No..." Logan cries. It's using all of his strength to speak. He turned to Kendall and sobbed.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this." He slowly shakes his head and Kendall grabs him.

"What? What, Logie?"

"I NEVER LOVED JAMES! NEVER!" he falls back to the couch and takes deep breaths. His vision is getting more blurry, and he has to focus hard to see Kendall's face correctly.

"Logan-"

"No! God,why?" He sobs as Kendall rips off the makeshift bond he used on Logan's arms. Logan curls into himself and shakes.

"I...I wanted to tell you, so long..." _Oh, god...I'm freezing..._ logan straightens himself back out and hisses when he feels more blood travel down his legs. Kendall holds him close, biting his lip and crying silently as Logan realizes he can't feel his legs. Time seemed to slow, and his vision was almost dark. Why was it so hard to breathe?

"What, Logie? What?" Kendall...Was he now sober? logan realized suddenly that Kendall was now dressed...how odd...

He rolled his head, which seemed like a cement block, to look up at Kendall. Kendall ran his fingers through Logan's hair and Logan sobbed, because this wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to cuddle and kiss and twirl around and grow old with Kendall. The affection Kendall was giving him wasn't right. Tears rolled down Logan's face and suddenly, there was light. Up above him. His breath was becoming slower...

"Logie? Logie? LOGAN?' Kendall began shaking him.

"Always...ALways loved...Always loved you...Only you..." he whispered. Kendall sobbed and held Logan closer.

"No, please, Logan! Don't-Don't leave me! I'm sorry! I'll make up for this! I will..." He sobbed harder and couldn't form words as Logan went limp in his arms.

"I love you." Logan whispered.

Then he inhaled...and was gone.

"NO! NO! DAMMIT, LOGAN PLEASE, PLEASE! COME BACK! God...no...Logan..." He spressed his face into Logan's cheek and screamed as sobs wracked his body.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" James screeched as he stumbled out of his bedroom, hair in odd angles. His clothes were wrinkled and he had deep bags under his eyes, and Carlos wasn't in good shape either.

"Kendall! " James stopped when he saw a bottle behind the couch. He picked it up and squinted as he read the label in the dark.

"Whiskey? Dammit, Kendall! You know you can't handle whiskey! Where is Logan..." His voice trailed off as he stepped closer to the couch. He squinted in the dark again...

_What are those stains? _He thought.

"Here, I'll turn on the lights-" Carlos shrieked as he flipped the switch and saw the mess of which Kendall had caused. Kendall sat there, not listening to their screams as James shook Logan's lifeless body, screeching and finally covering his mouth in shock. Carlos was on his cell phone, calling 911, screaming about the blood.

It had gone everywhere, the couch, the floor, somehow even on the walls. Kendall felt gone, lifeless...disgusted...sick...He stood slowly, picking up Logan's body as his friends screamed in each other's ears about what to do. He tuned them out as he carried Logan's body to his bedroom. Everything was slow, blurry.

He locked the door and set Logan on his bed, walking over to his closet. He found a sweatvest Logan had given him as a present and took his favorite button up and jeans out also. He slowly dressed Logan, before closing his eyes. They opened back up and he left them as he pressed Logans hands together, slipping an carnation that was half-wilted, one from a bouquet Carlos had made several days ago. He sat down beside Logan, finally stopping as he let out sobs. He screamed into his hands as he realized what he had just done.

Why? Why was it him who had to do something as awful as this? Why couoldn't he have told ANYONE that he had been losing his mind?

He knew it when he started seeing James and Logan hang out more often. He hallucinated things somehow, dreamt things and believed them real. It was his fault for not going to a doctor. Or even telling Logan.

Logan, his beautiful Logan, the one he had wanted to carry out of a chapel after thier wedding day, the one he had wanted to grow old with. He sobbed into his hands and reached under his bed. He withdrew the heavy box, opening it and staring down. Hid father's most prized posession now lay in his hands as he slipped the bullet into the chamber.

"Kendall! Please! Open the door!" He pressed the barrel to his head

He didn't deserve this...nothing...especially Logan's love.

"KENDALL PLEASE! THERE COULD BE A CHANCE FOR BOTH OF YOU!"

He pulled the trigger.

************BTR**************

Carlos sobbed, James screamed. Katie and Mama Knight couldn't stop crying for days on end.

THe double funeral service was too sad to bear. Gustavo cried and Kelly couldn;t attend, her sorrow was so deep.

James held Carlos close as their caskets were lowered into the ground, in Minnesota. James let his tears fall silently onto Carlos's shoulder as the latino sobbed into his shoulder.

The doctors discovered that Kendall was only a few more sips from alcohol poisioning, and he had been developing schiztophrenia without knowing it. Logan died simply of blood loss.

James sat staring at their graves, wondering how things had turned out this way. He felt a hand enclose his and he looked down. Carlos sat staring at thier graves, also, his tears falling silently. It was hard on him. He woke up and screamed from nightmares, the gunshot ringing in his ears.

"How...how did this happen?" He looked up at James with innocent eyes that James couldn't resist.

"Logan...Logan loved Kendall. A lot. And Kendall loved Logan. They were too afraid to tell each other." He watched more tears roll out of Carlos's eyes, because his innocent mind was now corrputed.

"But...that's not fair!" James hugged him close and Carlos cried harder.

"I know...I know..." He ran his fingers through Carlos's hair before gently stepping back and looking down at Logan and Kendall's graves.

_I'll do this...for them..._He thought. He turned to Carlos and sighed, wiping his own eyes.

"Carlos...I'm going to tell you this, because of our friends. I don't want to end up like them." He held Carlos's hands in his and sighed. He looked up into Carlos's eyes and let another tear escape.

"I love you."

Carlos blinked and let out a small sob.

"I-I love you too." James pulled Carlos close and sighed.

"What do we do now, Jamie?"

James stopped and took a step back again, wrapping an arm around Carlos's shoulders and squeezing them.

"We keep our head up...We go home... we remember Kendall and Logan forever. We live, love...and forget. Things will get better." He whispered as he led Carlos away.

And things will get better.

There's a rainbow after every thunderstorm, we just have to wait patiently and look for it.

**A/N**

**Like I said...I was somewhere dark when I came up with thise and ended this in a darker place filled with bad memories...then I threw in the last lines as reminders that life gets better after something bad happens.**

**so yeah...*awkward***


End file.
